Don't give generously

I lived in London for four years now. Considering the number of people on the streets who are trying to make you give to charities it is very surprising that not one of them approached me ever asking me to give to charities.
I can think of a number of reasons actually-
1. Let us start with the most basic. They were so busy with others that no one ever had time to approach me
2. They looked at my great appearance and fathomed instantly that I should be the receipient of a charity(something like an Indians in London fund) not a giver.
3. They have a futuristic device in their hands which instantly scans my face and tells them that I myself am a slave in a multinational, and so shouldn't be approached.
4. The first thing they are taught in their training is to never approach a brownie. Particularly, one that looks like he could be from south Asia because the first thing he/she would do is to convert the amount( even as small as a pound a month) into his/her(see you can't call me sexist) currency and say there is no way he/she is giving away that much. And the clues to find out if one is actually from south Asia is by the face, by the hair cut, by a horrible dress sense, by the accent, by the walk, and etcetra... Mind you I am not saying these things, I am merely suggesting that these are taught to the charity collectors.
5. Or they know instinctively that I will say "Do I look like I give to charities?"
6. Or they know instinctively that I will say
"I heard you get £10 per hour, and you talk like you are doing social service. Why don't YOU work for free for charity and then approach me?"

Could be any of these reasons, but the bottom line is I was never approached.

P.S some of my Indian friends who were approached were so startled that they were even approached, they gave instantly and generously. This should be the new tactic for the charity collection agencies.

Bernie Mad(e)off

They say you can't cheat an honest man. They also say you can't cheat all the people all the time. 30 odd years ago Bernard Madoff, a jewish boy from Queen's, Newyork set out to prove those two statements wrong. He succeded with the first one by swindling millions of honest (and some not that honest) people out of $60bn. Yes sixty f****ing billion dollars.
But he couldn't prove the second one wrong and today was sentenced to 150 years in jail.
Guys, this wasn't the first Ponzi scheme, and he won't be the last cheat. And there is no financial deal, which is too good to be true.
And, after this credit crunch if you still believe in safe investements and good financial institutions, you are bound to wound up like one of Bernie's clients. Just to give you an idea, one guy lost millions to Bernie and is now working in a supermarket as a check out clerk in Florida.
As I figured it out, the best way to make sure you don't lose money is by digging a hole in your back garden and burying it there. But make sure to put a stone on top of it, just so you won't forget where you buried it.
As per Bernie, I like millions of others am hoping that he will land in a prison cell with bunches of gay rapists.

Digital 'Revolution'

This year marks the 10th anniversary of the massacre at Tienanmen square. If from ten years from now, 2009 were to be remembered it would probably be remembered for the protests in Iran. The supreme leader of Iran has today called for the rioters(his evil name for the protesters) to be hanged. Easier said than done. What he has to realise is that when you are asking for half the population of a country to be hanged you will often find yourself hanging from a lamp post. What is more important is that this revolution is being led by a unique tool in the history of revolutions. Twitter. Yes Twitter is the fast,free and uncontrollable force that people around the world are using this tool to bring about change.As iphones, and other mobile devices grow in numbers, and mobile internet connectivity unites the people on the street, twitter is the future weapon, which is going to make governments shake in their seats.

Mad as hell

Don't you feel like this some times? I certainly do.
I feel mad as hell that what was true of the world in 1976, is still the same and true in 2009.
I certainly feel mad as hell when I read in Telegraph that some minister has bought a Plasma TV worth £2500 and claimed it on expenses. That is my tax money dammit!
I feel mad as hell when I see all these big CEO's go home with pay checks, while people lose their jobs because of the games that the big corporations and banks played.
I feel mad as hell when governments seem to be run by people who have no idea of human suffering and I feel mad as hell at their incompetence.
I feel mad as hell that we still have so many superstitions and religions and killings.
I certainly get mad as hell when I realise that I am not in 2387, and I have to cope with all the limitations of 2009.

World Naked Bike Ride-Fancy that

Have any of you heard of World Naked Bike Ride Group. I have'nt. It came as a surprise to read in Guardian that they are planning-the clue is in the name- naked bike rides across UK towns and worldover. And apparently, the biggest one of them would be in London,with about a thousand londoners taking to their bikes after taking off their clothes.

The group has a website, which answers the question "Why are you cycling naked?"

It is apparently to "celebrate cycling and the human body. The ride demonstrates the vulnerability of cyclists on the road and is a protest against oil dependency".Good reason to go for a bum ride.

If you want to get further information and would like to participate in the naked bike ride, you can get more information and some useful tips on whether riding naked is uncomfortable, whether it is un-hygeinic, and also if you are not "conventionally attractive", you can go to the website here.

Caution: Do not open the website in crowded offices or public places.


If you really want to go it is tommorow 3pm starting in Hyde Park guys

Tube strike in London well under way

Tube strike in London is well under way. Nothing is moving. You can
see people moving around like clueless zombies, asking directions and
running for buses.
This is how the latest travel update from London looks like this
morning.

God Trump cards

I am re-producing the God trump cards from the New Humanist Magazine for your amusement. Enjoy them.







Is something missing, YES the biggest trump of all





For part 2 of the God Trumps click here.

Terminator Salvation-a review

To take a James Cameron story, or for that matter any popular franchise and to re- boot it, you need something more than, an actor and a script. It needs creativity, and guts. Like the ones that J.J.Abrams showed with Star Trek. If Abram's future is something that I would like to live in myself, I will give McG's future in Terminator salvation a miss. Agreed, it is not 2300's yet. McG and Christian Bale have to contend with a very close 2018. On that note, we are already in 2009. The idea of machines taking over the world in 9 years is as far fetched an idea as that Gordon Brown being re-elected as prime minister of Britian.
John Connor is trying to save Kyle Reese, in a post apocolaptic world in which the machines have destroyed the world on the Judgement Day that we know so well about from the earlier Cameron Terminators. The world is a bad ,bad place and looks as rustic as an old abandoned factory. I have no idea what McGs budget is, but in parts it looks like a cheap video game being played on a cheap games console.
And, Christian Bale. Man, what is wrong with him. Why does he have to talk in the same droll as in The Dark Knight. His now infamous rant against a sound technician for not letting him concentrate makes one wonder, what the hell was he concentrating on? And why is he in such a bad mood throughout the movie. Is it supposed to be acting to show how the Judgement day changed him? Or is it just that he had a bad day after a bad day throughout the shoot?
He has less charisma and star power in this movie than one of the chipmunks from Alvin and Chipmunks.
Anton Yelchin as Kyle Reese and Sam Worthington as a terminator Marcus Wright give better performances than Christian Bale who is supposed to carry the movie on his shoulders. As per the thrills in the movie, the only thrilling moment comes in the first chase when Marcus Wright is being chased by terminators. But even then, if all people want to see is big machines fighting with people, they are better advised to wait a week and see the big machines fight each other and the humans in Transformers(Not that I am a fan of that either). In the final scene of the movie, John Connor is given a second chance by a heart transplant in an army base camp. The only reason that I can think of John Connor, getting a second lease is because he is Christian Bale, or else my choice would be frankly Marcus Wright, even if he is half machine. If John Connor wants to lead the resistance and win over machines in future instalments, while not losing audiences, Bale and McG should take a crash course from Chris Pine and Abrams.

Weather forecast for..........2080

Some weather experts have come up with predictions for how the weather would be in the year 2080. They say England will see Mediteranean like weather conditions, with temperatures in London rising to- hold your breath, 41c.
Imagine being on an underground train, if they still don't master air conditioning the underground in 2080.
What they did not do was predict the weather for places like Africa. Will it reach an inhospitable 60-70, or will Africa become a cold continent with African governments buying snow ploughs.

When I went to Hay on Wye

What a better setting for a "town of books", or as some would call it the "book capital of the world". Lying on the river Wye, on the English,Welsh border, Hay on Wye is a paradise on earth for a book lover.

When I caught the train from London Paddington to Bristol Temple Meads, I was still half asleep at 7 on a saturday morning. For someone who is always excited by travel and new places, what a name to go to. Bristol Temple Meads! Pulling out of Paddington, I was amazed at how similar mega cities look when you are looking at them from a train,be Chennai or Delhi or London. The same concrete structures, the same flyovers, graffiti. The two guys sitting behind me started talking in an unusally loud voice. Then their conversation turned to Star Trek, and one guy said the new Star Trek is not a good re-boot. I wanted to turn back and tell them to shut up. My timidity got the better hold of me, and I turned up the sound on my earphones only to get into a nice slumber. When I woke up, the train was passing through a very beautiful English countryside, which made me miss travel in an Indian train, where you could open the door and sit on the door ledge taking in the cool air as the train hurries towards wherever it is going. I also missed the noises that Indian trains make. Long train journeys in England, I find very boring, sort of like sitting in a comfortable room. No hawkers trying to sell me bread omlette and fresh fruit, no beggars singing film songs, no sounds that trains make when they are changing tracks or crossing a river, not even the gentle sway of an Indian train. Even when British trains approach London, they just arrive. There is no drama like in an Indian train say when it approaches Chennai, or Mumbai, when the train slows down, waits for a signal, and all kinds of local hawkers are running on the tracks beside you, trying to get on the train and the passengers changing from their nightwear or travel wear into more formal clothes for the arrival.
From Bristol I was to catch a train to Newport Gwent, but the train was delayed. On the platform on which the train was to arrive, stood an Asian guy with a bag, and a a pretty Chinese girl with a huge camera. Chinese and their cameras. Like London tube trains the departures board kept changing the arrival time of the train from 10 to 12 to 15 and so on. So I went down into the station concourse, and again felt sorry, as all train station concourses look the same to me in England. The same Burger Kings, Upper Crusts and AMT coffees. Just as I came back onto the platform with my Coconut Hot Chocolate, the train has just arrived, and I boarded it. I went to my reserved seat, and what do I find beside me? The pretty chinese girl. From the expression on her face, I could glean that she thought I was sitting there because I wanted to sit beside her. If you are reading this, that is my reserved seat love! Oh girls! And then she proceeded to take like some 2000 pictures out of the train window in the half an hour it took to reach Newport Gwent.
Newport Gwent was a pleasure. It is the first Welsh station I ever went to. It is very small, and they were making announcements in both English and Welsh.
More to come....

Brown's cabinet 'reshuffle'-Sir Alan in

The evening papers and the channels are full of news of Brown's cabinet reshuffle. Let us be honest guys, it is not a reshuffle is it! Eight cabinet ministers resigned, and eight more Labor losers who want to be called 'Minister' before Labor goes into political wilderness are stepping in their shoes. The surprise is not that eight people jumped off the ship, the surprise is that Brown is not.
On another note, Sir Alan Sugar will become an 'Enterprise tsar' and will be in the cabinet. I can only imagine the cabinet meetings. "Brown,Darling, Miliband none of you delivered. This is a bloody shambles. But this time Gordon you are fired"(Sir Alan's search for something to do continues).
By the time Brown eventually goes, he having a bad day(someone resigning, losing some election, Cameron making fun of him, or pretty much everything) will be so common that it won't be front page news anymore and will be printed in the papers after the dog races, if there is space that is.
Check this out from the Comment Is Free blog.

The Android Apprentice

Now that Debra has been fired on the Apprentice I can reveal that Debra is a model T-100 model android from the future. Here is to hoping that she will eventually go on to win The Android Apprentice in year 2050. Surely, even the latest androids in that year will wither before the acid tongue of Debra the devil android.
P.S My only regret is, I was half expecting Sirallun to peel her skin off and show us the inner circuitry, and it never came.

Sinking Boat

As ministers start resigning from Brown's cabinet one after the other, it brings to mind one quote from Malcolm Tucker-"Look, people really like it when you go just a bit early! You know, steely jawed, faraway look in your eyes! Before they get to the point when they sitting round in pubs and say "Oh, that fucker's got to go!", you surprise them! "Blimey, he's gone! I didn't expect that! Resigned! You don't see THAT much anymore! Old school! Respect! I rather liked the guy! He was hounded out by the fucking press!" How about that, ah? What a way to go! Yeah!"
For those of you who don't know Malcolm Tucker, here is a taster.