The Klingon Wikipedia

I can't stop laughing when I read this. Wired magazine has a lovely article about what it calls The Klingon Wikipedia- "the encyclopedia that huge nerds can edit". This is basically about an alternative wikipedia which explains things in simple English as opposed to regular English version.
The writer also imagines what it would be like if there were alternative versions like 'The Limerick Version". I particularly love the sarcastic version. So see for yourselves how it would be to have different versions of wikipedia.

The Regular English version
"Grasses, or more technically graminoids, are monocotyledonous, usually herbaceous plants with narrow leaves growing from the base. They include the 'true grasses,' of the Poaceae (or Gramineae) family, as well as the sedges (Cyperaceae) and the rushes (Juncaceae)."

The Simple English version
"Grass is a type of plant that covers the ground like a green rug. If it gets too cold or dry, it turns brown. There is a family of plants called the 'grass family.' The plants in the grass family are called grasses.

Sullenly Sarcastic Wikipedia
So I'm sure you've never actually seen grass, so you have no idea that it's a plant, right? Like, there's no way you could just look out the freaking window or go to the park or something and see grass. Hey, guess what plant family grasses belong to? The rhododendron family? The weasel family? It couldn't possibly be the grass family, now, could it?

Limerick Wikipedia
There's a family of plants they call grass.
Many grow in a green, leafy mass.
Other types include grain,
And, of course, sugar cane.
It's a breakfast plant none can surpass.

Excessively Neutral Point of View Wikipedia
Grass, according to many people who are scientists, or who are at least defined as scientists by what many people consider the scientific community, is a plant, although there are those who consider the distinction between plants and animals an artificial distinction and would classify them as "living things," or "objects," or "observable ideas." There appear to be up to five or more people, give or take up to four or more, who post to Plant Conspiracy, which most people would consider a message board, who claim to deny that grasses exist, and who say that what we call grass is actually a very unusually shaped species of terrier. Most people would agree that many people think that these people are what would normally be considered nuts.

Digression Wikipedia
Grass is a plant that you grow, or smoke, am I right? I had this roommate in college, he was such a stoner he took botany just to learn about grow lights. Anyhow, there are a bunch of types of grass, like sedges, which I always get mixed up with sledges. Hey, remember that TV show Sledge hammer? That was a killer show. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing!" Right? Heh. I wonder what that guy is doing now. IMDB says he was on Law & Order, but who hasn't been? Has Wil Wheaton been on Law & Order? He totally should be. He'd make an awesome murderer. Did you see the one with Martin Short?

Hand-Drawn Yard Sale Sign Wikipedia
GRASS'S are "IMPORTANT" PLANTS! Their are MANY "MANY" TYPES! INCLUDING RUSH'S & SEDGE'S! & TRUE GRASS'S!!!!!

Even More Simple English Wikipedia
Grass is green. Grass is plant. Grass is grass.

If you want to read the full Wired article you can here.

Paris 3

Any one who has used the Becks's tube map knows that, that would be
the best design and geographical train maps for a city are too
clustered and complicated to read. But the Metro guys in Paris can not
be bothered. The fact that the lines are numbered from 1 to 14 as
opposed to names like in London makes it all the more confusing. And,
if some of the lines are shades of very similar looking blue, that
would be called metro hell. I went through that hell and survived.
So the second day to Louvre or as they call it 'Musee du
Louvre'. Louvre makes the magnificient British museum look like a walk
in the park. It is ENORMOUS. If one wanted to go around the museum
looking at every object he would grow old by the time he is finished.
Frankly, I did not feel like I went for a walk in a museum, but for
working out. Monalisa was a delight, though could not get a proper
look at her thanks to all the Chinese taking her pictures. What I have
noticed in this tour is that what is important for the people is that
they want to show their friends or family what a great time they had.
It is not about having a great time. It is not about going onto Eiffel
tower and feeling like on top of the world, or enjoying the beauty of
Monalisa, but about showing your friends how much you enjoyed it. I
bet half the tourists I have seen on this trip have seen the places
around them only through a view finder.
There are some magnificient Napoleon's apartments in the
Louvre. They, more than anything can be show pieces for why there was
a French revolution.
After a tiring 5 hours, I got sick of museums, and after my
third break, I vowed that I will never set foot in another museum in
my life and stepped out onto the left bank.
After a beautiful stroll along the left bank, on a beautiful
sunny day, listening to Ricky Gervais podcast and laughing my heart
out, I called it a day with some lovely French food.

I Twitter

Right, I am on Twitter. So from now on you can see my random thoughts
on Twitter, or even on my blog in the form of tweets. I think, this is
so much better than blogging, as you can get simple thoughts across
without posting lengthy blog posts. For example "Asda is selling lost
symbol for £5! Mental!!"
So enjoy my blogs and tweets from now on

Paris 2

You are Niel Armstrong, and for days and months you planned your
trip to the moon. But once there all you can think of is the jam
doughnut you had before you left the earth. That is how I felt on the
Tour de Eiffel, or for the novice Eiffel tower. So, my first proper
day in Paris. Obviously I started looking for the Eiffel tower. So I
stepped into a supermarket, bought a French version of an innocent
smoothie ( which tasted like donkey's piss, not that I tasted it), and
asked a Chinese girl behind the counter which Metro station to get off
for the tower. The best part is, she didn't know. So she asked a fellow
check out girl in Chinese. She didn't know. Then she asked a security
guy who didn't know. Then I was like " alright don't bother, don't you
worry. I will find it somehow".
So, I managed to find the Trocadero station, from which I could
see the Eiffel tower. Lovely! And huge! So went up to it through the
Trocadero dodging people trying to sell me miniature towers in all
sizes and materials. The ticket counters were busy as one can expect.
They were selling tickets for the Tour de Eiffel which to be frank I
thought was a tour of the Eiffel. Can someone please tell the French
that a tower is 'tower', not tour. 3 queues and 4 hours later I was on
top of the tower amidst kissing couples. That is when I realised that
you usually go onto the tower with someone you love very much and you
kiss them. So!! I tried kissing myself. Obviously not very successful,
I started to get down onto the solid ground. But all the time when I
was up on the tower, I had only one thought. I have just seen the
movie 'G.I.Joe-Rise of the Cobra' before I went to Paris. In the movie
terrorists blow up the tower which falls across the river Seine. I
kept thinking, if it happens now, where exactly will I land, and will
I be able to get off the tower without using the steps. I also had a
strange longing to throw my phone from the top, and see how it lands
on the street below. The only thing that stopped me was the
realisation that life is not a film, and there won't be a camera
sweeping down along with the phone to see how it lands. So, I promised
myself that if I ever made a film, I will have my CGI team work on
that scene. Of a phone dropping from the Eiffel tower.Mental!
Then to a self-designed tour ( an English tour) of the Paris
Metro and the shopping district and back to the hotel for a long
nights sleep.

District 9-Aliens in town

What would happen if Aliens came to Earth in our lifetime instead of say 2309. District 9 tries to answer that question and it does a damn good job of it. Though it could also be a wonderful satire on aparthied, it is also a wonderful sci-fi movie and raises some very interesting questions.
The film starts 20 years after an alien ship comes to Johannesburg, of all places. In these 20 years the aliens became part of a big slum outside the city thriving with crime. The film takes us from there to questions about what would happen if the aliens are to come and live with us, not in a technologically advanced 100 years time, but now.
A must see for any sci-fi lover. Don't miss it.